I wanted to believe that the universe was by my side, I wanted to stop running away from everything and to run towards something for once. I had this idea that if you hid all your feelings away from people it will make you invincible, an undefeated champ, but I hid them so well I forgot where I placed them; And all I see is flashbacks from where I once accepted those feelings as a part of me, all that I see is past.
They say the mind is its own beautiful prisoner; Whatever that you do in your life, one day you will feel like you are stuck in a specific time period, your mind thinking ability will become limited to certain individuals and certain ideas, you become trapped in a web created by your insecurity and fear. You feel cursed, like someone put a spell on you to haunt your brain every night with their cheeky smile, you do not know how to stop it or how can you end it; you're terrified.
I cannot understand how the brain works when it comes to love - and probably never will; They often say that there's a battle between your sane logical brain and your anxious weak heart; But they never said who wins. I always believed in the power of the mind to overcome whatever obstacle the human faces, but can someone be determined enough mentally to overcome love? Can love be unseen because your brain told you not to look?
Maybe I lost access to my feelings when I decided to throw them away, I have always lived in that way, I always get rid of whatever that is not pleasing for me and this whole re-exploration process is too much for me to handle, maybe one day all these faces I see will finally make sense, but until then I think this line will be enough to summarize;
I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything.
They say the mind is its own beautiful prisoner; Whatever that you do in your life, one day you will feel like you are stuck in a specific time period, your mind thinking ability will become limited to certain individuals and certain ideas, you become trapped in a web created by your insecurity and fear. You feel cursed, like someone put a spell on you to haunt your brain every night with their cheeky smile, you do not know how to stop it or how can you end it; you're terrified.
I cannot understand how the brain works when it comes to love - and probably never will; They often say that there's a battle between your sane logical brain and your anxious weak heart; But they never said who wins. I always believed in the power of the mind to overcome whatever obstacle the human faces, but can someone be determined enough mentally to overcome love? Can love be unseen because your brain told you not to look?
Maybe I lost access to my feelings when I decided to throw them away, I have always lived in that way, I always get rid of whatever that is not pleasing for me and this whole re-exploration process is too much for me to handle, maybe one day all these faces I see will finally make sense, but until then I think this line will be enough to summarize;
I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything.
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