Angel

Sometimes I feel like words can never be enough to transfer the idea in my head to yours, And I feel like no matter how many words I say you'll never truly understand the warmth of my feelings. It's complicated yet simple, like the waves in the sea during a storm; You can see how beautiful they are from the surface but you can never know the power they conceal.
I like to think of us as two souls who met by coincidence and now, they're inseparable; Like a newborn child and his mother or more accurately like a book and its cover; We are just in constant need for each other and no matter how hard life circumstances could be or no matter what people do to tear us apart, we will always find the map to each other's heart again. It just feels right, It feels like this is the direction we both want to go and this is the only direction where we both will go.
And I don't remember the exact moment when all of this began; I remember our first meeting, our first conversation and our first date. But I can't remember when you became a piece of me, a part of my character, a partner, someone who I would always think of prior to making any decision -even if it was just choosing a shirt to wear.
Truth is, you became a part of me and I became a part of you; And the beautiful mixture of our characters together makes everything related to you something spectacular, some sort of magic that I can never explain. I have to admit the look in your eyes in the morning is the best moment of my day; The warmth of the sun rays as it enlightens your pink cheeks creates a heart-warming mosaic with your golden ponytail that I think is amazingly cute even though you don't like it.
And you just loved how I made you laugh; All the lousy jokes I said and our memories together always drew a big smile on your face; And that smile always made me feel secure, it feels like that pretty smile of yours sends a message saying 'I will never leave' and it was something that I felt, some sort of peace that conquers my heart and soul.
The funny thing is, whenever my friends or anyone ask me about you, I just can't find the words to describe you and end up saying 'She's good' -Well sorry for that. I never believed in the word 'speechless'; I never thought that the human mind can actually stop generating words at one moment, but when it comes to you it is a different scenario. Words can never be enough to describe your greatness and beauty; I can keep talking about our love for years and I will never deliver the exact feelings or sensation.
It's true what they say about life and how it's always surprising; One day you were just the cute girl in class and now you became someone who I trust more than myself, someone who would stand beside me when everyone walks away, someone who I can tell all my secrets without second-thinking, someone I love. And the definition of love was and still always difficult for me to understand; I realized that love cannot be expressed by words, love is felt; Love is that feeling of loss of control but equilibrated with the stability of your feelings; Your heart is racing at one end while your thoughts are giving you some sort of peace and control.
And I loved loving you; I enjoyed every day you laid next to me, I loved all the little things you told me and most of all I loved to cheer you up when you were having a bad day; I wanted to be there for you in sickness and in health, I wanted to live with your ups and downs, I wanted to be the one you can rely on, someone who would understand your soul and love it.
I think I reached a point where I'd go insane if I was forced to live without you; It's just something that I don't even want to imagine, I really can't think of a future that's not built on you and your love. Actually, I think I can summarize what I want in life in one line: 'I want to grow old with you'; I want to take you around the world when we are 70 years old, I want to have children with you and watch them grow to be beautiful as their mother, I want to spend every moment in my life telling you how lucky I am to have such a perfect human being by my side for all these years, I want you to set in my lap while we watch Titanic for the 100th time because you love the movie and I loved it because you do, I want to be the one who makes you happy.
My dear, I want to grow old with you.

Dreams

You could be my one and only
I promise that with me you'll never be lonely
I would hold your heart wholly
But only if you let me
I would erase away your pain
I don't mind if you wanted me to go insane
I would hold your hand every time we're on a plane
But only if you let me
And when the night becomes the day
I will be there to hear you say
That you will never run away
But only if you let me
And as we grow old together
And you realize that it did last forever
I would kiss you in every different weather
But only if you let me
And when our kids grow up and leave
When they achieve everything, they could achieve
I will make each night feel like Christmas eve
But only if you let me
And when you feel tired and fragile
And that you need to stay away for awhile
I would do my best to make you smile
But only if you let me
And when people give up on you and walk away
I would be the only one to stay
I would take you to Spain in May
But only if you let me
And if I ever changed with you
If I started saying things that I don't do
I would be happy if you gave me a hint or a clue
But only if you let me
And when God takes me away from you
Remember all the things that I kept telling you
Remember the love that I once shared with you
But only if I let you.

The Beginning

It's terrifying how people can disappear when they find a 'better' substitute. And a moment of confusion hits you when you don't know whether you should feel guilt or loneliness. It's understandable for people to leave sometimes but I am afraid most of the times people don't make sense anymore.

I've been thinking a lot lately in an attempt to understand people and their reasons; Truth is, people never really leave unless they wanted to, they wanted to be away from you and end the relationship that is between you.

Then why would people get in a relationship they know they don't want to be in? Or is there's a major traumatic event in each one of those relationships that caused the other person to walk away?

We hear 'People have their reasons' a lot but did we ever think about those reasons, and are those reasons strong enough to tear away a relationship? I don't think so.

Then that brings us back to the first question, do people place themselves in a relationship they know it won't last? Actually, after few experiences I'd say yes.

People tend to seek attention even from strangers, People love to be referred to as someone who has a lot of friends or someone who everyone loves. Even if that ruined few relationships here and there. I know no one can keep all relationships alive at once; But if that's true, what gives certain 'strangers' priority over others? Are the relationships we have today a result of a hunch we had a long time ago when we first met them?

I guess that got you spinning in circles as well.

I see that it goes as follows: You never know who you would be friends with or who you would love and cherish and who you would hate or dislike. 

The male guide to female communication

We all have struggled at one point or another with women; Are women some sort of mystery that can never be solved? Or do we men have no idea how to deal with them? I know you are anxious to know how to make your partner the happiest, so let's get started:

1. Love her:
Well, the first thing you need to make sure of is your genuine love towards her. And it is not a coincidence that love came first, without the purity of your love for this particular woman everything else won't work. Women are sensitive creatures that should be reminded of things that guys consider small on a daily basis; I mean you have to remind her every once and a while of how much you love her and why did you choose her over anyone else, these words are simple yet effective. As Pamela Davis said: 'Every woman deserves a man who loves and respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciate his efforts'.
Start making small changes towards her; Hold her hand while walking into a restaurant, express to her that you need her and value her or surprise her from time-to-time with a card or flowers or a little gift; These are just few examples on how easy it is to make your partner happy.

2. Understand the nature of women:
''Men are from Mars and women are from Venus''; This shows just how different the two genders are. Women are extremely complex and complicated creatures where Men are a simple-minded creature; The way women think for example is interesting; Women tend to think in a collective or global method therefore women are prone to become overwhelmed with complexities that exist or may exist, while men tend to focus on one task at a time.
But most importantly, Women have three physiological functions that are completely absent in Men; Menstruation, Pregnancy and Lactation. Each of these mechanisms influence behavior and feelings significantly; Try to understand these mechanisms and be extra nice when your partner is going through either one of them; Listen to what she says and try to give her some rest while you handle her duties.

3. Make her laugh:
Ask any women what she looks for in a man and ''someone who can make me laugh until my ribs hurt'' is usually one of the first things they say. A lot of guys can be good looking, charming, interesting or intelligent but not everyone has the sense of humor; And I know you're not the funniest guy in the world but that does not mean you cannot make her laugh; You don't have to use the filthiest joke on the planet or racist jokes, try to be a little awkward, share a funny family tale and be original; don't just memorize a line from Friends or a famous comedian. But my absolute favorite method is to make her laugh at yourself; If you spilled some coke on yourself during the movie just laugh it off, women love guys who don't take everything seriously. In the end, everyone loves to laugh :-).

4. Be patient:
Women can be difficult to handle sometimes, Women are greatly affected by hormone fluctuations from PMS to Menopause; And those changes can affect her mood, her weight, her food cravings or even her desire for sexual intercourse; Medically speaking, Women may undergo cramps, diarrhea, anxiety, depression or headaches before menstruation and all of those are difficult to tolerate. Therefore, patience is an extremely important feature in Men, whether your partner is angry at you or refusing sexual activities, understand that she is under the influence of hormones that are giving her a really awful time; Try to support her instead of yelling at her and think of every single word you say before saying it.
Be patient when she is late, don't make her feel guilty especially if the conversation started with 'Sorry' and let her win the argument; One day the tables could be turned and she might let you win the argument.

5. Make her feel special:
You don't have to take her to the fanciest restaurant in town or buy her the most expensive ring in the world to make your lady feel special; Compliment her in an appropriate way; Don't just tell her ''you're hot'', try to be original, say something like ''When I look at you, I know what it's like to feel comfortable and safe around someone''.
Show her that you care; Leave a random note saying ''I love how beautiful you look today'' in her car or kiss her on the cheeks out of nowhere, ask her a lot of questions to show your interest in her; Ask about her hobbies, favorite movies..etc.
Make a step forward; Put your jacket on her shoulders when it's cold, make her laugh when she is feeling down instead of standing there saying 'I'm sorry', Find out what's her favorite flower is and bring her a bouquet in your way home, take a lot of pictures together, Respect her and get to know her friends and don't be embarrassed to hold her hand in public.

6. Communicate:
There's no shame in asking your partner about what she thinks of getting a new car for example; Always ask about her point of view before making a decision even though it wasn't her area of expertise. You are sending her a message that you really care about what she thinks and appreciate her opinion in your decisions.
Communication matters more than you think; She might be hiding something but she won't tell because you simply don't ask about what's wrong. Allow her space to speak about what she feels even though it sounds silly for you. And if there's something wrong you did, let her finish her point of view before you start to defend yourself, and most importantly, learn how to defend yourself; use simple language to show her your point of view and remember that sometimes it is better to let her win the argument than yelling for 2 hours to get her to understand your point of view.

7. Be honest:
Honesty -for me- is the cornerstone for any relationship; Never think that lying can solve anything and know that if you were honest with her, she will appreciate that and do the same. Learn to build your relationship on trust; Believe me, it would be way better if you told her that you smoked a couple of cigarettes rather than she catches smoking for example.
And just because you lied a couple of times and got away with it doesn't mean that lying is the easy way out, maybe she knew you were lying but she didn't want to start a fight? She really will have difficulty believing you afterwards.

8. Don't cheat on her:
Cheating does not just come suddenly; The urge to cheat grows with time starting from simple white lies about flirting conversations with a colleague and working-late excuses until you realize that there's a distance between you and your woman.
You are a human after all and it's natural to find someone else attractive on the street or at work, But that doesn't mean that there should be flirting conversation with anyone; If someone started a flirting conversation with you, Tell your partner about it!, She may feel jealous for few seconds but she would understand that the only reason that you are telling her this is because you are truthful to her and that you did put an end to those conversations for the sake of your relationship.

In the end, always respect and admire who your partner is and do your best to make her happy. And remember that your happiness depends on your partner's happiness, As they say : 'A happy man marries the woman he loves, A happier man loves the woman he marries'.

Things I learned from being a kid

1. Never trust strangers;

Yeah, apparently your parents got this one right. We all were warned as kids not to talk to strangers or interact with anyone we don't know, and after some bitter experiences I can confirm that this myth is true.

2. Love your parents;

Really, you'll never ever have anyone who would love you and support you as much as your parents will; Take a flashback in your mind to your first day in school, first time you cried, first time you had a fight with someone, the first time you learned how to tie your shoes, What's in common in all these examples? Correct, your parents were there, they taught you everything you need to grow in this life and live your life the way you wanted, your parents are a blessing from God.

3. How to depend on myself;

Because sometimes your parents weren't there at the exact moment when you were trouble and you had to stand up for yourself and deal with it seriously like an adult. Whether it was a bully in the class or a project that you had to do, at that point you were obliged to depend on yourself because of the fear of the circumstances.

4. Never lie; 

We all have been through situations where we lied thinking that will help us to get away with whatever we did but a lot of times your crime wasn't perfect and you got caught and probably punished. In the end, I'd rather say 'I don't know' than making up something that doesn't exist.

5. Love yourself;

You are the beautiful creation of God; You are perfect in every single way, you may hate your scars but those scars made you stronger and you deserve credit on that!, Everything you are today is the result of your hard work and previous failures, always admire who you are and how much trouble you've been through to be the person you are today.

6. Adults are big kids;

Sometimes as a kid we were taught to look up to adults as role models; Perfect people with no mistakes. But I bet every kid knows that adults make mistakes as well but the spotlight was focused on kids. No one is perfect and adults are included.

7. You're not wrong because you're different;
Just because you didn't have the latest pair of shoes or you didn't follow a certain trend does not mean that you do not belong; I remember I used to be criticized by some for not being into the latest trends or not liking a certain artist, where as other people used to appreciate that I stood out from the other kids. In other words, it's not about being 'cool', your differences are what makes you beautiful.

8. Discipline first;
Your manners and ethics are what really matters after-all; Discipline is the first thing that I am going to teach my future children. Always be disciplined, no matter the situation.

9. Childhood is amazing;
Me as everyone else loved being a kid, I wanted to grow up quickly as well but now I wish those days come back again. Childhood was like a fairy tale that I will always want to live again. As they say, growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional; You can still keep your childishness while behaving like an adult.

Leadership

And you turn the page of today anxiously to embrace tomorrow, waiting for that day when everything you planned finally comes.
But soon you understand that the effort you put today won't be rewarded immediately tomorrow and that you would have to wait for good results to show up.
And you hit rock bottom, you start thinking of giving up and letting go of your dreams and never thinking of the same topic again.
But after a while, it hits you again, you start blaming yourself for giving up and the feeling of regret haunts you wherever you go.
So, you decide to start again, to re-build your castle from scratch but you promise yourself that this time you will never give up no matter what happens.
And once you find that will, there's nothing in the world that can bring you down or tear you apart ever again.
With that previous failure, you gained strength that only people with the same experience have, you became stronger.
Indeed, Failure makes you stronger, Failure makes leaders.

A letter to a mermaid

Things are not what they used to be, you lost the only one that really cared for you, I can no longer look at you as my savior or my secrets keeper.

You became one of them, a wandering soul living in a city of ghosts. You gave away who you were to seek satisfaction from people that don't care about you.

You cared a lot for what people may think of you and your flaws until it caused you to bleed from the inside,

Your self-confidence and appreciation were on a continuous downhill and every day you get worse than the day before,

You did this to yourself; you chose to be miserable and sad. You chose to push people away to live in your own fantasy world where you are the queen and everyone else are your guards.

You became someone I do not know anymore, a stranger wearing a mask of your face. A picture with a beautiful frame yet dark inside.

You got yourself caught in your own drama that I don't know when you are serious anymore.

Your words are puzzles and your feelings are a web of lies and self-deceiving. Your dreams are confused and your future is blurry.

You wake up every day, lie to yourself that everything is going as planned and you're okay while deep inside you know you would end your life if you could.

You lost the passion you had about everything. You're no longer doing things out of love, you became a person with no feelings but to yourself, a person living in a world of regrets.

You changed; And I never liked the new version of you, but I am afraid I cannot do anything about how you choose your character to be.

You were so bright and full of optimism, but now your darkness and selfishness are pushing everyone away from you. 

And even though I tried my best to pull your body to the surface but I couldn't do anything to lift you up because your lies were too heavy and you drowned.

And forever you may lie in the darkness of the sea until you find your true self again.

You gave away us when you gave away yourself.