Sunday, February 22, 2015

Angel



Sometimes I feel like words can never be enough to transfer the idea in my head to yours, And I feel like no matter how many words I say you'll never truly understand the warmth of my feelings. It's complicated yet simple, like the waves in the sea during a storm; You can see how beautiful they are from the surface but you can never know the power they conceal.
I like to think of us as two souls who met by coincidence and now, they're inseparable; Like a newborn child and his mother or more accurately like a book and its cover; We are just in constant need for each other and no matter how hard life circumstances could be or no matter what people do to tear us apart, we will always find the map to each other's heart again. It just feels right, It feels like this is the direction we both want to go and this is the only direction where we both will go.
And I don't remember the exact moment when all of this began; I remember our first meeting, our first conversation and our first date. But I can't remember when you became a piece of me, a part of my character, a partner, someone who I would always think of prior to making any decision -even if it was just choosing a shirt to wear.
Truth is, you became a part of me and I became a part of you; And the beautiful mixture of our characters together makes everything related to you something spectacular, some sort of magic that I can never explain. I have to admit the look in your eyes in the morning is the best moment of my day; The warmth of the sun rays as it enlightens your pink cheeks creates a heart-warming mosaic with your golden ponytail that I think is amazingly cute even though you don't like it.
And you just loved how I made you laugh; All the lousy jokes I said and our memories together always drew a big smile on your face; And that smile always made me feel secure, it feels like that pretty smile of yours sends a message saying 'I will never leave' and it was something that I felt, some sort of peace that conquers my heart and soul.
The funny thing is, whenever my friends or anyone ask me about you, I just can't find the words to describe you and end up saying 'She's good' -Well sorry for that. I never believed in the word 'speechless'; I never thought that the human mind can actually stop generating words at one moment, but when it comes to you it is a different scenario. Words can never be enough to describe your greatness and beauty; I can keep talking about our love for years and I will never deliver the exact feelings or sensation.
It's true what they say about life and how it's always surprising; One day you were just the cute girl in class and now you became someone who I trust more than myself, someone who would stand beside me when everyone walks away, someone who I can tell all my secrets without second-thinking, someone I love. And the definition of love was and still always difficult for me to understand; I realized that love cannot be expressed by words, love is felt; Love is that feeling of loss of control but equilibrated with the stability of your feelings; Your heart is racing at one end while your thoughts are giving you some sort of peace and control.
And I loved loving you; I enjoyed every day you laid next to me, I loved all the little things you told me and most of all I loved to cheer you up when you were having a bad day; I wanted to be there for you in sickness and in health, I wanted to live with your ups and downs, I wanted to be the one you can rely on, someone who would understand your soul and love it.
I think I reached a point where I'd go insane if I was forced to live without you; It's just something that I don't even want to imagine, I really can't think of a future that's not built on you and your love. Actually, I think I can summarize what I want in life in one line: 'I want to grow old with you'; I want to take you around the world when we are 70 years old, I want to have children with you and watch them grow to be beautiful as their mother, I want to spend every moment in my life telling you how lucky I am to have such a perfect human being by my side for all these years, I want you to set in my lap while we watch Titanic for the 100th time because you love the movie and I loved it because you do, I want to be the one who makes you happy.
My dear, I want to grow old with you.

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