Reverie

I wish we knew back then that being scared wasn't a bad thing. That change and growth and something greater all begin at the tiptoes of what we know for sure, at the very fine edges of our comfort zone. Leaving home with shaky feet and hiding from people with mischievous smiles. Cities and straws and the raw gnaw of hunger in your gut. In your soul, even, screaming out for more than you can carry. It looks like this: you in the corner of a bright yellow room with a shelf full of dreams collecting dust in each pocket. Me at the crack of the window, chipping paint from the walls of a place we've outgrown. Too big for our shoes. Too ambitious for our peers. Hot blood in our veins on a race to our brains and our legs and our arms and the pits of our stomachs. I wish someone had sat us down and held our hands to our hearts, wild and young enough to crash without breaking, and I wish they had said, "Feel that, kiddo? The chaos? That's how you know you are headed somewhere good".

I wish we knew how to deal with this strong, innate desire we held deep in our souls to learn things on our own. An everlasting fire that we could not put out. Propelling our curious and doubtful souls into seas of unfamiliarity. Our only fear was not being strong enough to go through our long, unconstructed voyages. But we never looked back. We have learned early on in life to never surrender. It was the only thing we knew. We learned to build our strength through every sleepless night. Everything that we went through only made us grow bigger. All the bits and pieces are adding up to make us the people who we are destined to be. Maybe perfection is in trying. Maybe we are not meant to be perfect. I wish I could tell you everything is going to be okay, but the truth is I am not sure. I never will be. But along the tangled paths of life, I have learned that the only way to survive is to let go of doubts and keep moving forward. Survival is a talent we strongly embrace.

The bravest people I know are the ones who are totally shattered inside. But they will smile at you and at everyone else, as they walk alone past you and everyone else. At some point, all we need is courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there's always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires you to be fearless. To reach a state of peace and tranquility one's frontline soldier should be no one but themselves. As we grow as unique persons, we learn to be more independent and self-reliant. The journey is never-ending. There's always going to be growth, improvement, and adversity. You just have to take it all in and do what's right, continue to grow.

Life is all about evolution. What looks like a mistake to others has been a milestone in my life. We are human and we make mistakes, but learning from these mistakes is what makes the difference. My journey in life and yours have led us to both dark and light places, and it's because of those experiences we have learned how to work through the defects of our characters and how to grow bigger and wiser. I believe that we have been lucky to go through everything how we did. The way we grasped onto life with our nervous, moist hands ever since we were little. The way we used the word 'impossible' with great caution. The way we held our head up despite all the people around us trying to bring us down. Our hearts are too big to be broken. Our souls are too bold to be torn. Champions are made, not born. And we choose to be heroes of ourselves. Heroes of our own life story.