Isolation

A sudden explosion of unexpected emotions covers my deluded eyes with fears and uncertainty,

What am I doing here, or how did I get here in the first place?

All the answers my perplexed mind comes up with ends with no response as I sit still in my bed that I despise from darkness to dawn,

They say knowing the truth is just a matter of asking the right questions,

But where are the answers that I have been looking for?

I can no longer tolerate all the lumps stuck in my throat of words that I should have said but did not,

That restless feeling,

When you are standing at the beginning of a dead-end that you know it leads you nowhere,

A moth may blame the candle's burning flame,

But it would still fly towards it all the same,

And I know that I was not born strong or weak,

Yet I know that I once had a ground to stand on which was demolished by the wild ghosts wandering in my head,

But I was infected with worries and guilt,

Those invisible insidious creatures are enough to chase away the sleep,

And leave me absent-minded again,
I never wanted you to see the darkest part of me,

Now I do not think I will ever step out of this,

I do not want to wake up any more to this illusion of a happy vivid life created by my deluded thoughts,

The rain fell softly on my skin but I still felt nothing,

And that was enough for me to understand the emptiness I live in,

How I wish I could be the object of your ambition.

I shall keep running from myself until the end of time,

Although I still believe that I can walk through fire,

But that does not mean that I will not get burnt,

I can bury everything I have been through,

But that does not mean that you did not exist,

I have not lost desire,

But the heart I had.

And now it hurts in a way I cannot describe,

Almost the inconsolable hurt,

The kind that makes it hard to breathe,

You sprung forward,

And I kept falling back,

But one day you will wash away the grime of my memory,

And feel whole again.