Blur

What if you felt something for someone but you were too afraid to confess your feelings; what kind of situation that will place you? I think the proper description is 'love-hate relationship'; but not the usual description, what I am taking about is that you love one party and hate the other; you love her but you hate yourself. And you hate yourself because you are afraid, afraid of the consequences that may happen if you told her about everything, but would you prefer to be rejected immediately or to regret your whole life for not having the courage back then? What if there was a third option; letting her go, convincing your mind that whatever you want to be between you is nothing but a bunch of imaginary scenes that you created in your head, convincing yourself to let go the only person you have ever loved just so you can 'move on'. But a small part of you will still want to hold her tight and kiss her pink cheeks, a part of you will still want to stay up all night staring in her beautiful eyes, a part of you would love to squeeze her and tease her, a part of you would still want to make her day as long as you are around, a part of you would still want to see her carrying your child which soon she will deliver to become the most beautiful mother ever existed, a part of you would still want her to be completely yours, a part of you will never forgive you if you chose to let go.
So, you realize that whatever the path you are going to choose will not be as sweet as you want. And you disappeared from the world for a while until you came with a decision regarding this situation; You finally decided to come forward and let it all out, you're saying words to her directly from your heart as you are trying to show her how much she means to you and for how long your heart was beating for her, you collapse and suddenly your beautifully-rhymed words are combined with tears as no matter how strong you said you will be when the time is right you just couldn't tolerate the situation; there you are on your knees confessing everything you have felt for years for the only woman you loved, there you are risking everything just to have her by your side, there you are so close to be with her yet so far.
And your speech comes to an end as you are out of words and too weak to go on, you look up to her eyes waiting for an answer, maybe a yes and everything you ever wanted becomes a reality or maybe a no and all your dreams shatter in front of your eyes.
And then she finally decides to talk, she finally decides to end this messy situation, you're crossing your fingers hoping for the answer you want. She said she is not interested in you and probably never will, words cannot describe the misery that hit your heart at that moment, and you walk back home in tears to be alone, not only for today but forever, because you know that you lost something irreplaceable, something you will never find anything close to, someone you were willing to give your all but they didn't want to be a part of it, they didn't want to be with you as much as you did, they didn't want anything with you, simply put, they didn't love you the way you loved them.

Rage

We live in a world where people do not appreciate anything you do, in a world where people give up on you and walk away from your life, and you never realize how lonely you are until it's night and you are lying in your bed waiting for the moment you close your eyes and rest, waiting for the moment when your day is over with your hand over your heart as you pray for a better tomorrow.
The next day you wake up with a glimpse of hope, convincing yourself of the idea that this new day is the right time to fix the mistakes you made yesterday, but soon enough you reach a state of acceptance; you will accept the fact that whatever you do cannot erase what you have already done and that this sensation will haunt you every single morning, you start to feel vulnerable, weak and fragile as you see yourself destroying your dreams, destroying everything you planned for and everything you wanted to achieve just because you fell under the pressure and decided to give up.
Then regret becomes obsessed with your devastated soul, and it kills you, it drives you insane to see yourself sabotaging the world you created with your own hands, regret is the worse feeling; when you feel you could have done better or could have said something different, that horrible feeling that maybe you should have tried one more time, maybe you shouldn't have given it all away just because you had few bad days. And it just stays there and watches you aching waiting for the next time you make a mistake so it can creep in your body again.
So, you decide to pick yourself up, and you try to find the missing pieces to achieve the level of self-confidence and appreciation that you had one day, but solving an emotional puzzle wouldn't be as easy as you think and you will feel that you need helping hand that no one around you would offer.
And when you figure out you are on your own in this mission, it becomes a personal challenge for you to solve it on your own and you promise yourself not to give up this time, and a monster inside you awakes as you start to notice parts of your character that you never knew that they existed, you want to make it to the end this time for yourself, because you realize that it would be an achievement you will always be proud of. And once you reach this state of mind, nothing can stop you from achieving what you want, and no matter who or what stands in your way in your life, you know you will always make it through, because this time you didn't give up, this time you re-discovered yourself and this time you became a better version of yourself, So let go of your fears and show the world what you are made of, you little rebel.

Ghost

The world we live in is made incomplete by the spaces between us,
The distance between us is growing by the walls we keep building to protect ourselves,
One moment we are nothing more than friends, another moment we are each other's everything,
This toxic relationship that drove us both into insanity and misery,
We became actors and actresses performing our favorite movie scenes in real life,
We woke up every day to wear the same expression-less mask we wore yesterday to cover our fear and anxiety,
Our fear of the future outgrown whatever that would have been between us,
Our happiness lies in our dreams which you visit every night to say hello to my broken soul,
I went back to the place where we first met to find it completely wrecked,
I went back to the memories we shared to find them completely disturbed,
I went back to find you but you moved out to haunt a different soul,
Our love has lost the will to live but I would give it one more chance.