Intrepid

Life happens to you quickly,
One day you're on the top of an inaccessible pyramid-shaped mountain,
Looking down on those who crossed paths with you.
The other day you are back to where you came from,
The lonesome and cold hell that you have created for yourself.
And between this and that are brief moments that we live for.
It all sounds like a dream that you can't wake up from,
A vicious cycle of emotions,
Changing worlds,
A sun with rays that no longer provide heat,
An upside-down tree with no leaves,
A vivid orange sky,
And ruthless thoughts that follow you wherever you go,
And then,
There's you,
Wandering around in the wilderness,
Going on another trip trying to figure out who you are,
And what led you to this alternate universe?

Nothing matters anymore.
Words lose their value after they have been tossed around repeatedly,
All doors close,
And you stand there alone,
Surrounded by darkness and emptiness,
Everything hits at once,
All your underachievements, your failures, the dreams you gave up on, the lies you told yourself so you can move on, 
Everything comes back to you to stab you in the back.
And you are left wondering,
If any of that was worth it at all,
Or why did I start doing this in the first place?
Living in an alternate reality,
Where everything and nothing makes sense at the same time,
and oftentimes you find yourself standing on the edge,
Waiting for something spectacular to happen,
Something to turn your life around,
Or someone?
But as I previously said,
Nothing matters anymore,
And we're all prisoners trying to understand the complexity of life,
Eagerly looking for a reason to continue,
A reason to hold on.

Life or death.
Do or die.
I don't want to feel like I did last night,
This constant feeling of unpredictability.
I have been running all my life I have no energy left in me.
I wonder how much of myself I can't translate into words,
How much of me I don't even know,
Lost in translation.
Words can't do these feelings any justice.
Life begins and ends in this infinite place called the present,
Whatever is left in the past is irrelevant,
And the future is an uncertainty of its' own that the mind can't try to comprehend.
Death lurks around the corner,
Waiting on you to make a mistake,
Looking at you from afar hoping for the perfect moment to make ends meet.
I think it's both a burden and a blessing to feel everything as deeply as I do,
I don't know what to feel or what I want to feel,
I don't know what to think,
Or what I am.