Monday

In a windy cold Autumn day, you open your eyes slowly and carefully as the sun emits yellow golden rays that are too bright for those sleepy little eyes of yours, it starts off with the switch of the coffeemaker as it prepares you the sweetest cup of daily morning motivation that you thrive for every single day, you walk unsteadily with hesitant steps towards the kitchen and you hold on your coffee with trembling uncertain hands, you stop for a moment and look through your window to enjoy the beauty of the clouds through Autumn and the way the dry yellow crumbled leaves fall down slowly and hit the ground, you realize that no matter how high you are, you are going to hit a low one day.
You soon manage to push the ugly thoughts away, you were pale pink lipstick and apply some makeup over those full cheeks of yours, you've decided to go with dark orange powder to match the gloominess of Autumn, you sigh.. you have to go through another day at your job, another day of the hell you chose with your own hands, sometimes, you just want to quit, sometimes, you just want to go somewhere far away where no one recognizes you, it feels sort of that you are trapped in someone else's life; grow up, go to school, get a job, get married and raise your children, but through all of that, you realize that you never actually did any of those things because you wanted to, you were obliged to follow the system; A system you never liked, a carefully picked set of rules and orders that were forced on you and everyone around you, you are just like anybody right?, there's nothing special about you.
You get into your car heading towards your workplace, you've got yourself pretty much covered; A hot cup of coffee in the cup holder besides you, a Taylor Swift's CD playing through the dust-covered speakers of your car that you barely take care of and you roll down your window and light up a cigarette in an attempt to forget about the traffic you are stuck in, the smoke of the cigarette is slowly sneaking through the little gap of the window and is slowly taking your life away. And about time.. you have finally reached your workplace, the place you hate more than anything else, you are making your way through the tight corridors as you have arrived late.. again, you stand in front of your strict boss trying to find a way to convince him that you were late due to the traffic and that it was unintentional, you lie, once again, but you've been used to it, it became something natural for you, it's 10 minutes past 8 am, you sit behind your desk, turn on your computer and pray that the hour turns 4 pm in a blink of an eye.
It is 4 pm, finally, you are so thrilled that this day is over, but you are going to go through the same traffic again, anyway, it doesn't matter, you've finished another day of this dreadful October, on the way home you take a visit to a fast food drive-thru that you became very familiar of, you've made it home at last, you drop your leather expensive designer bag on the floor as it is not worth a cent, take off your heels and throw yourself on your unmade bed, you close your eyes and fall asleep to the sound of rain pouring heavily outside, at the end of the day, you don't know what you want, you don't know what you want to be, you're just like anyone else, lost and insecure.

Obsessed

All my life I was never there, I was just a ghost, you picked me up, showed me a different view of the very same life I was living, I went from staring into the same four walls to staring into those beautiful hazy eyes of yours, I found myself lying between your arms, I found peace when I found you, I found myself when I found you, and it just felt like I was born again, you are like my favorite song stuck in my head; easy to remember, hard to forget, you are my obsession, my daydreaming, my midnight thoughts, the man I see in my dreams.. all the heart I have left, I would give it to you, I don't want only words, if that's all you have to offer, I want you, I find myself thinking about you from time to time wondering what if I made you mine, I fell in love with you, your wavy black hair that you are too busy to comb, your big wide eyes that I often find staring blankly, the amount of time you spend to match your shirt with your shoes, I fell in love with your heart, your pure soul, the way you made me laugh, your confidence, the way you treated me, you believed in me, trusted me when no one did, you stood by my side when no one else would, you said that you like me, I remember once you had a break and I asked you to have coffee, you happily agreed, you went on talking for the whole hour while all I did was stare at you and your handsomeness, I think that's when I knew that I fell in love with you, you were not like the other guys, you were different, you were mine, and you loved that I am yours.

I wrote a diary of all the times we met, all the things you said to me and how you made me feel, every word you speak is added up to the book that I read every single night, I love how it makes me feel, you are different to me, different than anyone else, you are what makes me who I am, remember the photo we had on Christmas with our coworkers?, I cropped everyone and kept you, I glued it to the very first page of my diary, I cherished every single complement you said to me, I want to be more than just your friend, I don't want to rush anything, but I don't want to waste any time either, I want to write poems about you until my pen dries out, I want to wait for you, I want to kiss you until my lips are sore and dry, I want you to hold me close, I want you to stare into my eyes and tell me that you love me, tell me that you feel the same as I do, tell me that you can't live without me, tell me how much you need me, tell me that you have had dreams about me just like all my dreams were about you, call me at the middle of the night just to talk, I don't want roses, tulips or diamond rings, I just want to be yours.

I can not understand anything but how much I love you and what you mean to me, my body is screaming your name, the blood in my veins is flowing for you, you are the first idea that crosses my mind every single day, it feels that my heart just wants to jump out of my chest and hold you, I found peace when I was confused in you, I found hope when I was let down in you, I hope to find it in the end, let me love you, satisfy my cravings for you, hold me closer, come to me, don't let my love be wasted, no one will love you like me, no one has ever rejected me before, I fell in love with an illusion of you, something I created in my messed up mind, you are the one that I do not see in my future, but as it, it is difficult to rewrite the story you tell yourself every night, what we got here, how did we fucking get here, you are supposed to be mine, I do not care about anybody else but you, come back, don't let this love be a waste, you promised me everything will be okay, you text me like we are lovers but treat me as a casual acquaintance; which are you, which am I?, you promised me to be there if I needed you, we can't be just friends, we are perfect for each other, how can you not see what I see, you are my prince and I am your only princess, baby come back, grab my hand, let's try again, open your heart, let me come inside, let me be your lover, let us be who we are supposed to be, don't let me down, don't break my heart, look into my eyes, you are all what I need, you belong to me, as you are and I am all yours, as I am. I don't want you to go, I don't want you to love anyone else, I can't believe everything I feel for you is not enough, stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about us together and what we are going to achieve, I don't know what to do without you, you are everything to me, the unrequited dream, a song that no one sings, the unattainable, you are a myth that I have to believe in, all I need to make it real is one more reason, so please I know you baby, I believe you can love me, don't complicate it, just let it be, you belong with me, I know that you want to stay, I hope you want to stay.