I grab a piece of paper, a pen and with trembling fingers I write,
As the ink starts to pour down on the plain white paper,
A paradox of conflicting emotions baffles me,
Has anything I have done made my life better?
I have spent so much time in my head and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body,
And sometimes,
Somewhere through those gloomy nights,
A sudden gush of emotions runs through my veins,
And I question my fragile self,
Who am I?
I sigh.
Is this really how I wanted my life to be,
Or
Did I lose track?
I feel disconnected from myself,
As if the words I say never live up to the thoughts in my head.
I am constantly trying to explain myself in different sets of words,
And I fell in love with words,
Persistently attempting to place them gently in sentences to create the perfect meanings,
And in case you were wondering,
Yes,
I fail,
I fail every time.
And I am running in circles,
Or is it a figure of 8?
Because every once and while I come across a point where I think I have figured it all out,
only to be lost again.
I don't know,
How can someone be this empty?
Who takes it out of you?
But there is a certain beauty to chaos,
A glimpse of perfection through all the madness,
And a hint of relief through sadness,
Only if you know how to look,
Only if you care enough to know.
And I think..
You don't think about appreciating a moment until it's over,
When you don't have those same feelings you couldn't quite distinguish,
or recognize before.
Sometimes it's years after it has happened,
Sometimes it's just a few moments before it ends.
That feeling you're feeling,
It's called nostalgia.
It's what make us human;
To be able to look back at a specific period of time,
and recognize the unbelievable amount of value a specific event had.
and I am nostalgic,
I miss all those days when things were different than how they are today,
When life wasn't complicated,
When..uh..
Everything was simple,
And I..
I was happy,
I was happy then...
The human body is a magnificent machine;
It has tremendous levels of endurance and unmatched stamina,
We can go through rivers and their turbulent rapids,
Climb mountains that are hundreds of meters high,
We are pretty much strong aren't we?
Theoretically yes,
Except that,
Every species has their weaknesses,
And ours,
Is the heart.
We often feel too much,
Or nothing at all.
There's no in between;
If you are cold,
you hurt people.
If you are sensitive,
they hurt you.
And I am tired of all of this.
I thought I just needed a night's sleep, but it's more than that.
And believe me,
Life isn't always what it seems,
And you don't know what people are going through.
My daily routine is...
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,
All the walks I want to take,
All the songs I want to hear,
And all the friends I want to see.
I think we tend to write because it's rare that we're listened to,
Maybe somewhere between these lines,
I can be understood the way I want to be.
I have never known what I wanted from life,
and I often drive myself crazy,
I have never found a place where I belong,
And as we continue to destroy each other's lives,
The universe looks and weeps,
And I do all these things for other people,
and then I wake up and I am empty,
I have nothing.
I don't know what it is that has got me so beautifully blind,
It feels like I am constantly being haunted by all the people I let down,
by letting myself down.
Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.
I am..
I am a tangled tale which is yet to be told,
I am lonely more than you can ever imagine,
The worst part about being lonely is when you are around people,
In a room full of people,
parts of you still feel missing.
You feel like there's a black hole in your chest that's going to rip you apart.
You feel weak
I take a deep breath,
Inhale, Exhale.
Listening to the sound of my heartbeat,
It's so calm and terrifying at the same time.
In that exact moment,
just for one minute,
I feel fine,
and I close my eyes,
I am alone again,
Sitting silently,
The breeze hounds at my window,
and rattles wooden frames,
I am paralyzed,
by the heaviness on my heart,
but despite all what has been said and done,
I will believe that..
I will believe that in me exists the strength to move.
As the ink starts to pour down on the plain white paper,
A paradox of conflicting emotions baffles me,
Has anything I have done made my life better?
I have spent so much time in my head and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body,
And sometimes,
Somewhere through those gloomy nights,
A sudden gush of emotions runs through my veins,
And I question my fragile self,
Who am I?
I sigh.
Is this really how I wanted my life to be,
Or
Did I lose track?
I feel disconnected from myself,
As if the words I say never live up to the thoughts in my head.
I am constantly trying to explain myself in different sets of words,
And I fell in love with words,
Persistently attempting to place them gently in sentences to create the perfect meanings,
And in case you were wondering,
Yes,
I fail,
I fail every time.
And I am running in circles,
Or is it a figure of 8?
Because every once and while I come across a point where I think I have figured it all out,
only to be lost again.
I don't know,
How can someone be this empty?
Who takes it out of you?
But there is a certain beauty to chaos,
A glimpse of perfection through all the madness,
And a hint of relief through sadness,
Only if you know how to look,
Only if you care enough to know.
And I think..
You don't think about appreciating a moment until it's over,
When you don't have those same feelings you couldn't quite distinguish,
or recognize before.
Sometimes it's years after it has happened,
Sometimes it's just a few moments before it ends.
That feeling you're feeling,
It's called nostalgia.
It's what make us human;
To be able to look back at a specific period of time,
and recognize the unbelievable amount of value a specific event had.
and I am nostalgic,
I miss all those days when things were different than how they are today,
When life wasn't complicated,
When..uh..
Everything was simple,
And I..
I was happy,
I was happy then...
The human body is a magnificent machine;
It has tremendous levels of endurance and unmatched stamina,
We can go through rivers and their turbulent rapids,
Climb mountains that are hundreds of meters high,
We are pretty much strong aren't we?
Theoretically yes,
Except that,
Every species has their weaknesses,
And ours,
Is the heart.
We often feel too much,
Or nothing at all.
There's no in between;
If you are cold,
you hurt people.
If you are sensitive,
they hurt you.
And I am tired of all of this.
I thought I just needed a night's sleep, but it's more than that.
And believe me,
Life isn't always what it seems,
And you don't know what people are going through.
My daily routine is...
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,
All the walks I want to take,
All the songs I want to hear,
And all the friends I want to see.
I think we tend to write because it's rare that we're listened to,
Maybe somewhere between these lines,
I can be understood the way I want to be.
I have never known what I wanted from life,
and I often drive myself crazy,
I have never found a place where I belong,
How is it possible for the world to be so beautiful and so cruel at the same time?
I shake my head in disbelief.And as we continue to destroy each other's lives,
The universe looks and weeps,
And I do all these things for other people,
and then I wake up and I am empty,
I have nothing.
I don't know what it is that has got me so beautifully blind,
It feels like I am constantly being haunted by all the people I let down,
by letting myself down.
Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.
I am..
I am a tangled tale which is yet to be told,
I am lonely more than you can ever imagine,
The worst part about being lonely is when you are around people,
In a room full of people,
parts of you still feel missing.
You feel like there's a black hole in your chest that's going to rip you apart.
I take a deep breath,
Inhale, Exhale.
Listening to the sound of my heartbeat,
It's so calm and terrifying at the same time.
In that exact moment,
just for one minute,
I feel fine,
and I close my eyes,
I am alone again,
Sitting silently,
The breeze hounds at my window,
and rattles wooden frames,
I am paralyzed,
by the heaviness on my heart,
but despite all what has been said and done,
I will believe that..
I will believe that in me exists the strength to move.
