Enigma

I hope you do not mind the silence because I am too quiet to say what I would like,
How can I be genuine if I lie to save your ego?
There are so many things in my head all going wrong at once,
and I thought you will be able to fix them,
but now you have become one.
Two of the hardest and most painful tests in life:
having the patience to wait for the right moment,
and mustering the courage to accept that you have waited for nothing.
I would never love the sunset,
because who wants to watch someone they love go?
I believe hope is the feeling that the feeling you have is not permanent,
and one of the happiest moments ever is when you have the courage to let go of something you can not change,
It is 5 am,
Let us sit on a rooftop,
and watch the sunrise while holding a warm cup of coffee with our cold hands.
Maybe then our hearts can feel a little warmth.
Because in the night we will be dancing to relieve the pain,
And all the wrongs we committed will be neglected,
because we are just a couple of young and numb souls,
A chaotic mess,
my favourite kind of mess.

Around the Sun

I want to kill the thing inside me that still longs for you, I destroyed myself so no one else could, I can't seem to find the courage to un-love you and set my chest free.
I looked back on my lost loves and found out I am in a better place than I was, but then there is you, looking at me from a distance like a lost hurt soul.
I starve myself of affection because the hunger is less painful than the rejection, shatter me, and take me as I am and then just destroy me.
I was going to write you letters I won't let you read for each day you've let go, but instead I have written a poem for each day you don't show.
You were the help I thought I never needed.

You shattered me into million pieces and arranged me into a constellation, then hung me up in your galaxy as your new collection.

Words are imperfect, they don't speak to you with the language I want, you asked me for the truth and I could not put together the words through fear of the response you will give.
Pictures don't draw themselves, and neither do you, and all the beauty of yours ends up on a dusty shelf where no one bothers to perceive.
The taste of cigarettes on my lips can never replace the feeling of you, and no matter how high I try to get I will always find myself here in this lonely spot,
I like to think that I am okay,
But somewhere in my soul where the bones and ashes are scattered across what I assumed to be my heart; I know I am far from okay.
Did you give up or did you let go?
I did not want to fix you,
I wanted to hold your hand as we go through that war together.
We were magnets attracted from a distance,
A distance destined to non-existence.
There is no ceiling,
the sky is all above.
Continue to trouble me,
And I will accept all of you.
But she was beautiful like the summer rain and the winter sun,
I found myself quoting your favourite lyrics when I did not know what to say.
I saw a shooting star last night but I did not wish for you,
Reality is different than what we imagined,
It is dark and mysterious.
They say you write about what you are afraid of,
But sometimes love is never built to last,
And I was a serpent in the waters of chaos.